Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially with so many options and different approaches to consider. While there’s no shortcut to finding the perfect fit, there are ways to make the process more manageable.
As someone who is both a psychologist and has experience being on the other side of the therapy room, I know how confusing the search can be. I’ve worked with bad therapists, good ones, and a few great ones—so I want to share practical tips on how to navigate the process, what to ask, and—most importantly—how to know when you’ve found your match.
The Most Important Factor? The Relationship.
A therapist’s credentials and training matter, but the most effective part of therapy isn’t the method—it’s the relationship.
A Good Fit Feels Like:
A strong therapeutic relationship is built on trust and understanding. When the fit is right, you’ll likely notice that:
You feel heard and understood
You don’t feel judged for what you share
You sense they “get” you, even if you’re still building trust
Research backs this up: your connection with your therapist is the biggest predictor of meaningful progress.
That’s what makes therapy different from coaching or consulting—it’s not just about advice or techniques. It’s about how you feel in the room (or on the screen) with the person you’re talking to.
If something feels off, awkward, or misaligned after a few sessions, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you—it just means THIS therapist may not be for you. Don't give up.
The Power of an Initial Consultation
The best way to know if a therapist is the right fit? A consultation.
Many therapists offer a free 15-20 minute call before you start. This is your chance to get a feel for them before committing to sessions.
What to Ask in a Consultation
What’s your approach to therapy? (Are they structured? Conversational? Do they focus on deep processing or practical tools?)
Have you worked with people who have [your concern]? (Their confidence level here tells you a lot!)
How do you typically structure sessions? (Some therapists have a clear plan, others follow the client’s lead—find what works for you.)
How do we measure progress? (What does growth look like in therapy?)
Pay attention to how you feel during the call. Does the conversation flow easily? Do they seem engaged? Are they warm and clear?
You’ll get a strong gut feeling from that first conversation. Trust it.
Practical Things to Consider.
Even the best therapist won’t be a good fit if the logistics don’t work for you. Consider:
Location & Format – In-person or online? Are they licensed in your state?
Availability – Do they have openings that fit your schedule?
Investment & Pricing – Do their fees align with what you're able to commit to?
Therapy is an investment—not just financially, but in your well-being. It’s important to find someone whose approach, expertise, and availability align with what you need.
Not sure what type of therapy or therapist you need? Different therapists have different credentials (PsyD, LCSW, LPC, etc.), and different therapy approaches (CBT, EMDR, ACT, etc.) may suit different needs. If you want a breakdown of therapy types and credentials, check out [The ABCs of Therapy] (coming soon).
Let Go of the “Shoulds” of Therapy.
Your friend might rave about their therapist, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be right for you.
A therapist can be great on paper but not great for you.
You don’t have to want to be friends with your therapist, but you also shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around them.
It’s okay to:
Switch therapists if it doesn’t feel right
Not click with someone everyone else loves
Not know exactly what you need—your therapist will help you figure that out
It’s Okay to Change Your Mind.
Therapy isn’t a lifelong contract—you’re allowed to change your mind if something doesn’t feel right.
Many people feel awkward bringing this up, but here’s the thing: your therapist wants you to be helped, whether that’s by them or someone else.
So if you’re not clicking, if you don’t feel like sessions are going anywhere, or if something about the dynamic doesn’t feel right—it’s okay to look for someone else.
The key takeaway? You deserve a therapist who feels like the right fit for you. And finding that fit can take time.
If You’re New to Therapy and Feeling Unsure… That’s Normal.
If you’re new to therapy, you don’t have to show up knowing exactly what to say.
You don’t need to have a game plan.
You don’t need to know how to “do” therapy.
It’s your therapist’s job to guide the process—your job is just to show up and be open.
Want to learn more about what therapy is really like and what to expect as a first-time client? Check out [this guide to starting therapy] (coming soon!).
Final Thoughts: Finding the Right Therapist is About You.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to therapy.
The right therapist isn’t the one with the flashiest website or the longest list of certifications. It’s the one who makes you feel seen, understood, and supported.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by the process, take it one step at a time. You deserve support that feels like a good fit.
And if you’re curious about working together, you can reach out here—I’d love to connect.